Arya washes another body. And another. And another. She tries to follow one of the bodies, to see what happens to it next, but the nameless girl stops her angrily. Arya wants to play the game of faces, and the girl makes up a backstory for herself, then dares Arya to tell her if it is the truth or a lie. Arya has no answer. That night, Jaqen comes to her room as she sleeps and asks her who she is. She stands and tells her whole backstory. Whenever she tells a fib, he smacks her. When she gets to the part of the tale about the Hound, she insists she hates him. Jaqen sees through this and hits her so hard she falls. “I don’t want to play this stupid game anymore,” she pouts. Jaqen informs her they never stop playing.
Another day, more menial labor. Arya is scrubbing the floor when a distraught man brings his daughter in. He has spent every penny trying to heal her; now he just wants her suffering to end. Arya looks around and finds no one else there. So she goes to the girl, tells her not to be afraid, she was sick, her dad brought her here and the many-faced god healed her (with a sip of fountain water). Arya gives the girl a cup of water, while Jaqen watches, unseen in the shadows. The girl ends up on Arya’s table to be cleaned. Jaqen watches Arya stroke the girls hair softly then leaves without a word. Arya follows him into an enormous, cavernous hall. Floor to ceiling, every wall is outfitted with alcoves, and in each alcove is a head. It’s like a medieval version of the Governor’s head shelf on “The Walking Dead” (or a really dark episode of “Futurama”). Arya is not ready to become no one, but she is ready to become someone else.
Jorah and Tyrion still haven’t found the villages. Tyrion explains why he is on the run, and knew Jorah’s father. The past tense catches Jorah off-guard; he didn’t know his father was dead. They discuss why Jorah is so adamant that Daenerys is the true ruler when they are set upon by men running a slaving ship. They have a place for Jorah but deem a dwarf to be useless. They come at him to slit his throat and take his genitals for medicinal purposes, but Tyrion saves his skin by informing them that it isn’t dwarf-sized. He then uses his golden tongue to talk the slavers into taking him and Jorah to the fighting pits, swearing Jorah is a world-class fighter. They agree, so long as Jorah proves his worth.
Baelish returns to King’s Landing, where, on the way to a meeting with Cersei, Lancel warns him that the Sparrows have been cleaning house. Sitting with Cersei, he questions her decision to arrest Loras, and makes a vague comment that suggests he knows about her and her brother. (Is there anyone who doesn’t know at this point? Other than, maybe, their dimwitted inbred offspring.) He then admits he found Sansa, alive and well and living at Winterfell. He tells her about her impending nuptials, and Cersei is incensed. Baelish suggests she wait and let the others battle it out for the north, then she can march in as the victors are still licking their wounds. He offers her use of the Knights of the Vale, meaning there is no risk to her. All he asks in return, if they succeed, is to be named warden of the north. Cersei will bring this plan to the king – but she still wants Sansa’s head on a spike.
Cersei has another meeting, this one with Olenna Tyrell. Needless to say, she is not happy, and she makes this known to Cersei. She threatens that if her grandson is not released, the alliance between the Tyrells and Lannisters will cease. Cersei blows it off: there will be a hearing, and she’s sure Loras will be freed. A small inquisition is held, run by the High Sparrow, and attended by Loras, Olenna, Margaery, Tommen, and Cersei. Loras is questioned about his relationship with Renly and Olyvar. He vehemently denies any relationship, as does Margaery when she is called. But then the High Sparrow calls in a surprise witness: Olyvar. He claims that everything both Loras and Margaery swore to was a lie. Margaery walked in on them and didn’t seem too surprised. Cersei weakly complains that this is ridiculous, but Olyvar can ID a birthmark on Loras’ thigh, and the High Sparrow decides both Tyrells will face trial. Margaery screams for her husband’s help, but the poor kid just looks confused as to what is going on.
In Dorne, Myrcella and Trystane are walking and smooching in the gardens. He genuinely loves her and wants to marry her sooner than later. Doran watches from his perch, worried about a Lannister and a Martell to be involved, but he can’t help but notice they are truly in love. Jaime and Bronn, now dressed in the garb and riding the horses of the guards they killed, sneak into the gardens. They find Myrcella, who is surprised to see her “uncle.” He is insistent they speak privately, but Trystane notices blood on Bronn’s clothing and pulls a sword. Jaime grabs Myrcella’s arm and begs her to leave. Then Ellaria’s girls enters the fray and it goes from Mexican stand-off to all-out melee in a scene that was not well directed. One of the girls drags Myrcella away at knifepoint, but Aero and his guards put an end to it. They make everyone drop their weapons and take them away. A separate team of guards arrest Ellaria.
Myranda runs Sansa a bath on her wedding day. Under the guise of being “gossipy girlfriends,” she hints that Ramsay’s other lovers were hunted and killed when he grew tired of them. Sansa sees through this and asks how long Myranda has loved him. She finally grows a backbone and tells Myranda this is her home, she can’t frighten her. Once she is bathed and dressed, Reek fetches her for the ceremony. She refuses to take his arm; won’t touch him, which terrifies Reek because he doesn’t want to be punished. “You think I care what he does to you?” Sansa asks. She walks down the aisle unceremoniously. Roose officiates; Myranda can barely watch. Reek identifies himself as Theon of House Greyjoy, and he gives Sansa away. When Roose asks her if she takes Ramsay to be her husband, Sansa is quiet for a looooong time before she finally agrees.
After the wedding, Reek leads Sansa back to the marriage suite, Ramsay following behind. He questions his new bride’s virginity, and doesn’t believe her when she says she is. He kisses her and tells her to take off her clothes. As she starts to unlace her sleeves, Reek turns to leave. Ramsay demands he stay and watch. Reek is humiliated; Sansa looks scared. Reek slowly shuts the door, locks it, and hangs his head. Ramsay makes sure he is watching. “You’ve known her since she was a girl. Watch her become a woman.” Ramsay rips open Sansa’s dress, pushes her face-down on the bed, and rapes her. The camera pans over Reek’s ashamed face while Sansa screams in pain. The whole thing is disturbing.
There were some interesting developments, but when you get down to it, tonight felt like a recap episode. Though done in different ways, it seemed that all the characters gave a recap of their lives up to this point: Arya on her journey from Winterfell to the House of Black and White; Tyrion on why he ran away from King’s Landing; Lorris on his various romances (or, rather, being interrogated about his romances while he denied them); Sansa on why she was still a virgin. It made much of this episode feel like time-filler.
You can check out the promo for episode 5.07 in the player below. Titled “The Gift,” the episode is officially described as follows:
“Jon prepares for conflict. Sansa tries to talk to Theon. Brienne waits for a sign. Stannis (Stephen Dillane) remains stubborn. Jaime attempts to reconnect with family.”
Written by David Benioff & D.B. Weiss; directed by Miguel Sapochnik, “The Gift” is set to air May 24. “Game of Thrones” airs Sunday at 9 P.M. EST on HBO.
