Grindhouse is a weird movie to write about. This is partly because it’s two movies, partly because those movies are wildly different, and partly because the movies really aren’t meant for serious introspection anyway. They’re meant for a fast guzzle. This is popcorn entertainment in its finest form. Now, is the popcorn something you’ll want to try? I aim to answer that, right here, right now
Before I get into the individual films a quick note on the look and feel of Grindhouse. Both of the boys (Tarantino and Rodriguez) employ the old style “coming attractions” songs and opening sequences, both use the crazy synthetic sound and washed out orange colors. The film is clearly color treated at times, giving it an authentic 70’s vibe. There are even a few well placed “missing reels” clips. Did that really happen all that often? It’s funny to see here but I imagine audiences would riot if something like that went down in Spider-Man 3. Onto the films!
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“Planet Terror” is the Rodriguez effort, and it leads off. It is 90 minutes but it feels like two hours because it’s packed full of every cliche imaginable. Now, the word cliche has a negative connotation but that’s not the case here. You see, we’re all in on the joke. We’re get shots of women bending over and fighting off zombies in super tight tank tops. We’re get limbs ripped off. Most of all we get the super cheesy dialogue and plot randomness that true “B” movies used to deliver constantly. “Planet Terror” is what Scary Movie would be if that franchise was any good. The problem? Well, it’s all a bit too much. The human mind can only take so much “joke in joke” action. Robert doesn’t even bother attempting anything but the obvious, he just throws everything and two kitchen sinks at the screen full speed. Is it an homage? I don’t know where the homage ends and the silliness starts. It’s a strange hybrid freakshow.
20 minutes of trailers highlight the intermission. They are funny but also superfluous. They should have cut them all down to 90 seconds and given us some of our time back. My showing ran about 200 minutes. That’s kooky talk.
“Death Proof,” the Quentin film, is a bird of another stripe. The boys pretty easily proved that you can give two guys the same assignment and end up with results on different planets. On this planet there’s great dialogue and a real sense of who each character is. “Death Proof” doesn’t feel long in the slightest. It’s the story of Kurt Russell as a… oh wait, I’m not going to tell you. The trailers give away enough and you should have to put in your two hours before this one starts (just like I did). I will say it also features Rose McGowan as well as a completely over the top Tracie Thoms as Kim. Her dialogue is so crazy, so Quentin-esque, that I’m imaging this clip when they finally hand Q his lifetime achievement Oscar. C’mon by then you know he’ll be considered tame.
Grading time! “Planet Terror” is a B-. It’s like eating way too much sugar way to fast. There are crazy amounts of laughs, and it could have been a feature release all on its own, so I’d call it worth seeing, but only if you have a legit interest in the horror/thriller/zombie genre. If you don’t you’ll still laugh at the jokes but it will get old much quicker. “Death Proof” is an A-. Solidly constructed in a very short time; it’s got a much more of a real “movie” feel. There’s suspense as opposed to splatter. The dialogue is hyper-realistic as opposed to wocka wocka cheesy. I knock both films for their combined length, and I knock the whole project for having one too many fake trailers. All of this adds up to the only honest grade I can give to this loving and yet lighthearted look at B movies. You got it, Grindhouse is a solid B forevermore.
