I like doing my look back at the worst of the year before exploring the best, that way we get the negative stuff out of the way and we can focus on the more positive aspects of the year after that. Therefore, today I bring you Part One of what I believe to be the absolute worst of 2011 when it comes to cinematic offerings with Part Two arriving tomorrow where I’ll rattle off the final top ten.
Today we’ll be getting into my fringe candidates. Films I wouldn’t ever want to watch again and yet they were able to avoid finding themselves on my list of the worst of the year, which is really saying something about my top ten considering I mention about 18 films in this article alone.
To begin, call them the Dishonorable Mentions or whatever floats your boat, but here are ten films I didn’t have enough vitriol toward to include in my final list of ten (in alphabetical order):
- 30 Minutes or Less – Idiots swear a lot and it’s supposed to be funny, it’s not. (review)
- Bad Teacher – Couple of funny jokes, bad movie. (review)
- The Dilemma – Channing Tatum is the best part of the movie. ‘Nuff said. (review)
- Happy Feet Two – Just as bad as the first one, but for entirely different reasons. (review)
- In Time – Time is a metaphor, get it? (review)
- New Year’s Eve – Raise your glass! (review)
- Real Steel – Hugh Jackman is the worst dad ever. People feel sorry for him as he punches the air. (review)
- Red Riding Hood – Catherine Hardwicke made a Twilight spoof and didn’t know it. (review)
- The Ward – Mirror scare, behind the door scare, out of nowhere scare. (review)
- Zookeeper – It’s just bad, trust me on this. (review)
By clicking on the review links you will find full reasons as to why I didn’t like each one and if I were to direct you to any of the reviews specifically, I think my review of New Year’s Eve is the most entertaining. I had a lot of fun writing that one.
Those ten films above, however, are only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the worst films I saw this year, which is a key statement considering this list. These are the worst films I saw. I didn’t subject myself to films such as Jack and Jill, Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked, I Don’t Know How She Does It, Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son, Beastly, Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star or a myriad of other films that would have no doubt been under consideration had I seen them.
I’ve also left off some films that I saw either in Cannes or Toronto in 2010 that were eventually released this year. Films such as the dreadful Passion Play (review). After all, when it comes to lists such as these, does a film count for when I saw it or when it was actually released?
Then comes those films I didn’t like, but they have something that makes me at least appreciate them on some level, or at the very least respect them as films that just don’t suit my tastes. In this category we find four films (again, in alphabetical order):
When it comes to Coriolanus I was bored stiff but I’m sure fans of Shakespeare will find something to appreciate. Meek’s Cutoff is torturously (is that even word?) slow and the fact it adds up to nothing was maddening. See that image above? That’s about as interesting as Meek’s Cutoff gets until the exciting moment where they find a tree! Trust me when I say this one almost made the final list.
If I were to make an overrated list of films, Take Shelter would certainly make that list as this film carries an ending so contradictory to the rest of its narrative I haven’t yet seen someone offer up a believable explanation as to why they like the film outside of becoming a walking member of the group think. So why isn’t Take Shelter in my list of top ten worst films of the year? Because it has one of the better performances of 2011. Does it deserve to be called a good film just because Michael Shannon blows it out of the water up until the cliched evangelical lunchroom scene? I don’t believe so, but there is a measure of quality there I haven’t denied since roasting it at Cannes.
And finally, War Horse, a film I admit in my review was most likely made exactly how it was meant to be, but it didn’t sit well with me in the least. I don’t mind being manipulated, but I do mind when that manipulation is done with all the subtlety of a sledgehammer combined with corny characters and a screenplay written as if we had never seen a movie before. Yet, it misses out on my list of top ten worst films though I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t under serious consideration.
There is one film, however, that deserves special recognition. In early October, Well Go USA and Variance Films released the Jackie Chan co-directed feature 1911 on unsuspecting moviegoers and I was sent a screener. It is my personal belief that I don’t have much of a right to comment on a film unless I have watched the entire thing. It’s one of the reasons I do my best to make sure and watch every movie from start to finish just so I can say I’ve seen it and if I didn’t like it I wouldn’t have to return to it ever again and could still discuss it. 1911 was so bad I couldn’t do it.
Here’s what I wrote about the experience back on October 9:
I only managed to watch 37 minutes of [1911]. It was truly awful as it attempted to serve as a history lesson detailing the revolutionaries that brought about the fall of China’s Qing Dynasty. Too bad it was about as dull as a film can get with a lot of onscreen explanation in-between each scene, attempting to establish what you are about to watch before it went into tedious, generic and overly melodramatic action sequences I felt entirely removed from.
The sound effects sounded like they were straight out of “Call of Duty” with guns being cocked every two seconds; there were jarring edits, even in the middle of someone speaking; they put almost every character’s name on screen for about one second before flashing it off, fortunately it didn’t matter who any of them were; and the acting was was so bad there were a few American actors involved, speaking as if English was their second language. Once some guy named Homer appeared for the second time I was checking out. Just dreadful.
So, as you can see, I have strong opinions on the film, but having only seen 37 minutes it wouldn’t feel right to include it in the top ten, though it certainly deserves mention.
And with that build-up, tomorrow I will be posting part two where I will rattle off my list of what I believe to be the ten worst films of 2011. They range from massive blockbusters to tiny art films, because a bad film is a bad film no matter how you wrap it.
So for now, share some of the films you disliked, but wouldn’t quite say were the absolute worst and hold on to that top ten for tomorrow’s article when you can really let loose.
Also, I will be publishing my top ten movies of the year next Tuesday, January 3 and my fourth annual RopeofSilicon Awards (see past years here) is currently targeting a January 16 publication date. So stay tuned, we’ll have fun with the ones we didn’t like for a little while, but then celebrate the titles we appreciated a bit more.
