I can only assume if you are reading this article you have already read my Top Ten Movies of 2005 article, if not you can check it out right here.
I am also assuming some of you will think that some of my top ten deserve to be right here on my Worst Ten list, well I don’t know what to tell you other than head on over to the forums and let your voice be heard… It is a free world after all and considering as much someone better listen to you.
Until then, check out the ten films I hated the most this year and a little bit on why.
It should be noted that there are a few spoilers to follow, so if you don’t feel like ruining a bad movie you will want to be careful.
#10 Bewitched
Oh man, I went into this one thinking disaster. After about an hour I was thinking it might not be that bad. Then it all went to shit. Bewitched is a prime example of love ruining a perfectly fun comedy. Love would have ruined Wedding Crashers, but thankfully they kept it until the end, which made the ending out to be sorta cheesy, but not at the price of ruining the movie.
#9 Get Rich or Die Tryin’
I know director Jim Sheridan had an emotional attachment to this film, but he is far too good a director to allow a movie this boring to be released as is. He also should have caught on that 50 Cent was not up for acting, at least not in a role this heavy handed as his first acting gig.
#8 George A. Romero’s Land of the Dead
I know we are supposed to forget reality when we are watching a zombie movie. Zombies don’t exist, I understand that, but when the man who made the zombie genre what it is today makes a movie in which zombies become moderately intelligent beings with the ability to learn I really have to call bullshit.
#7 Sky High
Wow! This movie was bad.
#6 Be Cool
If anyone is looking for a lesson on how to take a fantastic movie and follow it up with a HORRIBLE sequel please take a lesson from Get Shorty and Be Cool. Everything that was good about Get Shorty is absent from Be Cool. Get Shorty relied on witty dialogue and brilliant acting to sell itself. Be Cool relies on outrageous characters and stupid situations. Sorry, that doesn’t work when you are following up a classic.
#5 Lord of War
This movie is scary bad. Lord of War is a message movie looking for a decent plot to get across its message, either that or a decent actor to lead the way. If you can honestly believe that Nicolas Cage and Jared Leto are Ukranian gun-running brothers then you might be able to stomach Lord of War.
#4 High Tension
Good Lord! Why ruin a perfectly good slasher movie with one of the worst plot twist endings of all time?
#3 Hide and Seek
It is all I can do not to punch my monitor right now as I think about Hide and Seek. Robert De Niro has taken his career and flushed it… right down the crapper, and once it got to the end of the line it found Hide and Seek and must have assumed it was better than swimming in sewage.
#2 The Bridge of San Luis Rey
The only reason this movie is not at the number one spot is because it is actually the first movie I have ever walked out of the theater on, and since I didn’t technically finish watching it I didn’t think I should put it at number one. Never before have a seen a film with such names as Robert De Niro, Kathy Bates, Harvey Keitel, Gabriel Byrne and F. Murray Abraham be cast so horribly. Either that or all of them got together and said, “Let’s make the worst film possible and see if we can still get work.” I am betting on option two, and yup, they are still working.
#1 Stealth
This shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone who visits the site on a regular basis. I have bashed Stealth ever since I returned home from the screening back in July ’05.
I don’t think it is necessary to go too far into detail on this one, I think the ranking alone is enough.
All that said, I do have a few Dishonorable Mentions, a few films that probably should have made the list but there weren’t enough spots.
If you haven’t read Laremy’s Ten Worst Movies of 2005 you can do so right here, and stay tuned as there are more looks back at 2005 to come as well as a look forward at our most anticipated films of 2006. It will hopefully be a great new year!
