It is so easy to celebrate the best in all things, but it is so much more fun to take a couple of shots at the true failures, which we will attempt to do here by counting down our ten worst films of 2004.
It really is too bad that this one comes in as one of the worst films of the year considering it has one of the best performances from an actress.
Bryce Dallas Howard owns The Village as she plays Ivy Walker, a young blind woman, and really offers up the only reason to sit through the miscalculated disappointments of 2004. When a film like The Village gets as much hype as it did, often times you can look at that as a reason to why it was received so poorly, but make no mistake about it, this is a bad film.
Who would have thought that 1 hour and 40 minutes of staring at Salma Hayek‘s cleavage could be this boring? I am sorry but putting together a huge cast of names does not a great movie make.
Okay, you have Pierce Brosnan, Salma Hayek, Woody Harrelson and Don Cheadle all in the same movie and all you can manage to do is drum up some homosexual jokes and a final act that is so convoluted and expected and call it a movie?
This DVD is sure to become the most freeze-framed DVD of all-time as Hayek is the only reason to even consider a second viewing, then again, there is the Internet search on Google.
For me to say what is bad about this movie is a waste of my time and yours so let’s just drop it.
The trailer had me sold on this one. When I saw the poster and the first couple of stills from Against the Ropes my outlook was not good, but once the trailer debuted my tune changed and I was ready to check it out, unfortunately what I got was a wannabe boxing movie without the boxing and a fading star in Meg Ryan whose nude scenes couldn’t even fill the seats with 2003’s In the Cut.
Anyone have a pedophilia fetish? If so, here is your flick, as a scene where a nude Nicole Kidman is joined in the bathtub by a nude Cameron Bright is enough to make you want to hurl Red Vines at the screen, if you haven’t yet hurled them on your lap. Somehow this mistake of a film is getting a re-release in January, guess New Line thought it was overlooked, but I think it was the woman on boy love that earns this one the thumbs down, at least that weighs heavily on my reasoning.
Interested in seeing idiots do uninteresting things?
Here it is, the $150 million blunder that even Oliver Stone admits is flawed.
Certainly no one is turning green from this one, as it proves my point once again that Ben Stiller does nothing but ruin movies with obvious humor. Hell, he even can make Jack Black unfunny.
Cartoons meet Mr. Van Helsing. Van Helsing, cartoons.
Looking over my review of Never Die Alone I saw that I gave it a D, which is a fair assessment, but in comparing this film to the rest of 2004 it is certainly the one movie that stands out in my mind as the one deserving of a firm placement on top of the trash heap.
DMX may have the voice and the gruff look to pull off cameos in films, but as a lead actor he does not prove his worth in this one.
So you’ve read the worst, now check out our favorites of ’04 starting with 6-10 here.
