We’re back, Marvel fans, with another episode of She-Hulk: Attorney at Law, this one titled, “Mean, Green, and Straight Poured into These Jeans.” Maybe this is the episode that finally leads to something substantial or guides the story in an interesting direction. I guess we’ll find out. Let’s do this.
What Happens in She-Hulk Episode 5
Just to recap, last week’s episode ended with Jen receiving court papers from Titania over the use of the name She-Hulk. That storyline takes center stage right off the bat in the latest episode where we see that the supervillain has created an entire product line based on the moniker. And since she was wise enough to trademark the name before anyone else, well, it’s hers to use.
Anyway, the always “put upon” Jen sits on a couch eating cereal when her cousin Ched pops in with some boxes filled with Titania’s merchandise. He’s making a killing delivering the products and is surprised to learn they don’t belong to Jen. He then tries explaining how trademarking works, which makes Jen frustrated. This is funny.
Later, Jen and Nikki explore Titania’s product line and confront the villain in a scene that happens and then ends. We cut to Jen’s office where half-rendered She-Hulk insists she’s not mad at the Titania ordeal. Then she crushes a stapler. Moments later, Pug asks Nikki to help him pick up some sneakers — Iron Man Threes — and reveals he has a drip broker who knows a lot of people. Nikki asks if he can find someone who does custom clothing for Jen’s Hulk form, and we’re off … I guess.
Pug and Nikki show up to a locale looking for Alonzo. An Asian-looking man behind the counter insists this is nothing more than a boba cafe. Nikki tries speaking in Chinese, which startles the young worker. “Was that Chinese? I’m not Chinese,” he says, to which Nikki replies, “I feel so much shame.” I actually laughed at this scene! The young man eventually leads them to a back room where he shows off knock-off Avengers merch — dubbed “Avongers” and “Avingers.” Pug and Nikki purchase some gear in favor of meeting the guy. They head to another undisclosed location where they managed to secure a meeting with the guy. Riveting stuff.
Back with half-rendered She-Hulk, Holden Holliway is slightly perturbed by Titania’s lawsuit and decides to let Mallory Book fight it in court. “But if you’re gonna be my client, dress like you respect yourself, and not like a football player pleading no contest to a DUI.” That’s actually a funny line, but also indicative of the show as a whole. Who needs good courtroom drama when you can have fashion? (Showrunner Jessica Gao admitted a while back that her team was inept at writing rousing trial scenes, in case you were wondering why every courtroom bit in She-Hulk falls flat.) Titania’s team defends their client by playing a clip of Jen saying, “She-Hulk’s not my name,” which Mallory counters by playing a clip of a news anchor dubbing Jen “She-Hulk.” Intense court stuff.
So, after that thrilling sequence, half-rendered She-Hulk and Nikki meet up with superhero fashion designer, Luke. He’s basically Edna from The Incredibles, but not as funny. He’s not impressed by She-Hulk, and initially rejects her as a client, but can’t himself. She might be an Avenger at some point, after all.
Back at the office, half-rendered She-Hulk bumps into Todd, that creepy guy she dated in the last episode if memory serves. Anyways, the point of this scene is to establish that Jen used the “She-Hulk” name in her dating app — “That’s how I win this case,” she says. Now, we’re back inside the courtroom where Mallory shows off Jen’s Tinder-like profile which clearly features the name and the tagline: “Mean, Green, and Straight Poured into These Jeans.” Hey, that’s the episode title (and also a nice way to describe the episode itself)!
Mallory calls the assortment of men Jen met over the dating app as witnesses. They all testify that she did indeed use the name, but reiterate how much they weren’t into her. Then the question: “Would you have gone on the date if she had been Jennifer Walters?” Even the seemingly perfect man says nope. And just like that, the judge nixes the case. Riveting.
But now Jen is hurt, you see? She’s merely She-Hulk. No one likes Jen Walters. Mallory tells her that she can do better, then takes her out for a drink. “You can have superpowers and some guy with an internet connection will think he can do better.” Jen laughs at this comment and drunkenly blurts out, “I’m so glad we’re friends now,” an action that embarrasses Mallory, who quickly takes her leave. “I thought you were getting better clothes,” she says. Drama.
Jen heads back to Luke and finds a bunch of clothes waiting for her. The show teases this like some big reveal we’re all going to hold our breaths for until next week — and then finally gives us what we wanted to see all along: Daredevil. No, the man doesn’t show up in this episode, but we see his helmet in Luke’s office, which is enough to pique my interest.
Final Thoughts on She-Hulk Episode 5
This is the problem with Marvel. Even if there is bland content for weeks on end, when they sense we’ve lost interest, they toss out a clever cameo or two to lure us back. It’s the perfect strategy. One used by Hawkeye (with Kingpin) and WandaVision (with Quicksilver). Most of us tuned into She-Hulk out of curiosity for the show itself, but mostly because the ads predominately featured Hulk and Daredevil. I’d gather most viewers stuck around because they want to see Matt Murdock’s alter ego finally appear in the MCU. And you know what? If they nail Daredevil, maybe the pain and suffering I’ve endured watching She-Hulk will be worth it.
Damn, Marvel … you’re good.
Anyways, this episode was, well, rather uneventful. Things happened, followed by more things. Problems arose and were quickly overcome. The biggest hurdle in Jen’s life seems to be no one … likes her? Which is odd considering Nikki has been gushing over Jen since the first scene of the first episode, she has the easiest job on the planet, makes enough money to afford a really nice apartment in Los Angeles, and has superpowers. What’s the problem again?
This is the issue with She-Hulk: there’s no drama. And when there is drama, it’s not dramatic enough to care about. Plus, it’s simply not funny. Aside from a few good lines, I’d wager anyone outside the 40-year-old, wine-drinking, single-woman crowd — the kind of people who consider Sex and the City high art — groans more than chuckles.
That’s all a matter of opinion, of course. Personally, I think She-Hulk falls in line with most of Marvel’s recent bland offerings. I’m not particularly engaged in any of its storylines or “mysteries,” and have no clue where any of this is going; or if it’s actually going anywhere. But you know what? Next week might feature Daredevil … so, I’ll tune in … again.
