[5:01:01 PM] Laremy says: The Oscars are less than 30 minutes away! I hope they’ve practiced.
[5:02:13 PM] Brad says: I see Adele behind Jennifer Aniston. She’s waiting for Aniston to finish, you know, an Oscar nominee waiting for the presenter to step aside.
[5:02:57 PM] Brad says: Jennifer Garner, “They made it for me.” Chenoweth, “Every year you’re one of my favorites. You just do it right.” Besties.
[5:03:04 PM] Laremy says: Why does no one ever wear Jordache? Or Members Only?
[5:03:38 PM] Laremy says: Halle Berry looks like a slot machine.
[5:05:42 PM] Brad says: Adele is 5’9″. Even MORE facts.
[5:07:45 PM] Brad says: George Clooney has his own tequila? Yup, just Googled it.
[5:07:56 PM] Brad says: Audio issues just bit the ABC crew.
[5:08:04 PM] Laremy says: Sandra Bullock just told Jess Cagle he’s doing a good job. That’s a stretch.
[5:10:23 PM] Brad says: Royal Caribbean is killing it when it comes to awful commercials and lots of them.
[5:12:27 PM] Laremy says: Anne Hathaway has the bat nipples from Clooney’s Batman suit!
[5:13:17 PM] Brad says: Anne Hathaway’s mom says, “It’s business in the front a party in the back.” This was in reference to her dress.
[5:14:01 PM] Laremy says: Whoever invented the mystery box should be fired. And then beaten.
[5:15:38 PM] Brad says: Kelly Rowlands is interviewing Jamie Foxx, big question, “What were you listening to in the car on the way to the Oscars?”
[5:16:45 PM] Laremy says: They just cut the mic on Jamie Foxx.
[5:18:07 PM] Laremy says: Daniel Day-Lewis just said Steven Spielberg was the worst director he’s ever worked with. Pretty controversial.
[5:20:00 PM] Brad says: 11 minutes to go and Laremy has gotten quiet… I think he had too many carbs.
[5:21:56 PM] Laremy says: Just started making coffee. Chenoweth broke my spirit.
[5:24:10 PM] Brad says: Oh man! A Renee Zellweger sighting! Where has she been? Has she been stuck on Cold Mountain this whole time?
[5:24:50 PM] Brad says: Chenoweth’s face must hurt from all that fake smiling. Hee hee hee, ha ha ha… Oh hee hee ha
[5:25:43 PM] Laremy says: I don’t understand why Chenoweth is still on. Take my eyes!
[5:26:22 PM] Brad says: We are five minutes away, Seth MacFarlane is about to do his thing… I am praying he does well. I actually hope this show turns out great.
[5:28:00 PM] Laremy says: This “Splash” show on ABC legitimately looks like the end of network television.
[5:29:34 PM] Brad says: There are a lot of people reading the live blog right now and I am praying the server holds up! Please server hold up! PLEASE!
[5:30:36 PM] Brad says: And we have begun!
[5:30:48 PM] Brad says: Nothing has happened yet, you’re not missing anything.
[5:31:09 PM] Brad says: “The quest to make Tommy Lee Jones laugh begins now” – MacFarlane
[5:31:17 PM] Laremy says: Solid opening joke! Thank the maker this has started.
[5:32:08 PM] Brad says: The theme for the night is musicals… Argo is the first movie mentioned. “The film’s director is unknown to the Academy” says MacFarlane… “They know they screwed up.”
[5:32:21 PM] Laremy says: Ben Affleck snub joke. Classic as well, but Ben didn’t look too happy about it.
[5:33:24 PM] Brad says: “Amour is nominated… or as I call it, This is 90.”
[5:34:38 PM] Laremy says: MacFarlane’s cadence is pretty solid. He’s letting the jokes marinate.
[5:34:52 PM] Brad says: Okay, Seth has started off well, even tossing in a Chris Brown and Rihanna joke.
[5:35:26 PM] Laremy says: This is Gervais-like. And I’m enjoying it.
[5:35:39 PM] Brad says: Wow, a little dicey in the Django territory, “Quentin Tarantino thinks he’s black”
[5:36:06 PM] Laremy says: Oh, he crushed Jodi Foster. He’s made a friend for life in me.
[5:36:17 PM] Brad says: Oh man! Love it! “Show is being broadcast to billions, which is why Jodie Foster will be up here in a second to ask for her privacy.”
[5:36:42 PM] Brad says: They got William Shatner in a Star Trek uniform? He also may be drunk.
[5:36:46 PM] Laremy says: Er, Jodie. You know what I mean.
[5:37:03 PM] Brad says: William Shatner, “Why couldn’t they just get TIna and Amy to host the show?”
[5:37:11 PM] Laremy says: Oooooh, song time?
[5:38:33 PM] Brad says: Okay, a “We Saw Your Boobs” is definitely a grab at a viral video and they’re gonna get it. How long before the clips from the name-dropped movies are spliced in?
[5:39:16 PM] Laremy says: Any time The Academy isn’t being stodgy I call it a win. “We saw your boobs” is a victory.
[5:40:22 PM] Brad says: Channing Tatum and Charlize Theron are now joining MacFarlane on stage for another song…. “The Way You Look Tonight”, which is a showcase for Tatum and Theron.
[5:40:31 PM] Laremy says: Did I call C-Tates dancing or did I call C-Tates dancing?
[5:40:59 PM] Brad says: Oh, and Twitter is not reacting well to this opening, but is that really a surprise? Those Twitter people hate everything.
[5:41:29 PM] Laremy says: This sock puppet Flight is better than the actual movie.
[5:41:29 PM] Brad says: Now a reenactment of Flight with sock puppets… this is actually pretty accurate.
[5:42:09 PM] Laremy says: Far better dialogue, really.
[5:42:25 PM] Brad says: Okay, this can end now.
[5:43:07 PM] Brad says: Next is Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon-Levitt for a song and dance… I think it’s time to announce Best Supporting Actor.
[5:44:57 PM] Laremy says: I think the show is already running behind schedule. How is that even possible?
[5:45:18 PM] Brad says: I don’t think MacFarlane and Field filmed this together.
[5:45:44 PM] Brad says: Wow, and even calling Supporting Actress for Anne Hathaway.
[5:46:22 PM] Brad says: We need more reaction shots. You can’t say Amy Adams bit a guy and not show Adams reacting.
[5:47:41 PM] Laremy says: Okay, a biggie right off the bat.
[5:47:46 PM] Brad says: I think we’re ready for Best Supporting Actor as Octavia Spencer takes the stage. It’s a big one early folks.
[5:48:38 PM] Laremy says: It’s going to be Jones. And I am going to be mad I didn’t go chalk.
[5:50:11 PM] Brad says: Laremy is already praying to the Oscar Godz that his Hoffman prediction comes true.
[5:50:27 PM] Brad says: Winner for Best Supporting Actor is
[5:50:56 PM] Laremy says: A shocker right off the bat. Waltz gets a second Oscar, good for him.
[5:51:28 PM] Brad says: I have to say, just seeing the nominees made me feel it was Jones or De Niro for sure. Two for two for Waltz. Impressive.
[5:52:44 PM] Laremy says: Looks like our dream of a perfect 24 for 24 is shot once again.
[5:52:48 PM] Brad says: Waltz is a very grateful winner, I believe him more than I believe most. Next award is Best Short Film (Animated) and Best Animated Feature.
[5:53:53 PM] Brad says: Missing the prediction on the first one is not a good way to start the night.
[5:56:23 PM] Brad says: Show is back, little E.T. theme and Judd Apatow and Melissa McCarthy will now make us laugh.
[5:57:30 PM] Laremy says: If this isn’t Paperman it might be time to see if an asteroid is headed toward Earth.
[5:57:55 PM] Brad says: Soon we will have a winner for Best Short Film (Animated)… Paperman is my pick… and everyone else’s.
[5:58:05 PM] Brad says: Winner for Best Short Film (Animated) is
[5:58:32 PM] Laremy says: Back in the game, batting .500, feeling the flow.
[5:58:47 PM] Brad says: Next is Best Animated Film…. will it be Brave or Wreck-It Ralph?
[5:59:23 PM] Laremy says: Here’s another coin flip …
[5:59:44 PM] Brad says: Winner for Best Animated Film is
[6:00:34 PM] Brad says: Wow, a legitimately bad movie skates in on the name of Pixar. Poor Wreck-It Ralph.
[6:00:52 PM] Laremy says: Whew, The Academy still loves them some Pixar.
[6:01:44 PM] Laremy says: We’re both 2-1 if you’re keeping track at home.
[6:01:58 PM] Brad says: Next is the Cinematography award, but first Reese Witherspoon is telling us about Les Miserables and Life of Pi and Beasts of the Southern Wild… It would seem they are doing a musical feature to tribute all three.
[6:02:20 PM] Brad says: …or not?
[6:02:55 PM] Brad says: While this is going on, we’re going to do a page break. Join us on the next page won’t you?
