Maybe I over-hyped Fast Five in my own mind. Maybe I expected too much from the adrenaline fueled fifth installment in the increasingly ridiculous franchise. Or perhaps this film just wasn’t clicking on all cylinders. Whatever the reason, while serving as a decent piece of mindless entertainment, Fast Five is overstuffed, too long and just seems to be trying too hard in all the wrong places. Had I not been as entertained by the previous installments I’m not sure I would be as willing to give number five a pass.
Bringing back virtually everyone the franchise has ever offered — aside from poor Lucas Black whose character is just a twinkle in the Tokyo Drift — Fast Five banks hard on character recognition and less on actually trying to continue an audience’s relationship with these characters. It’s a “getting the band back together” movie, but it’s also one where the stakes are perceived to be high, and yet there is very little tension as the opening scene lets us know that virtually no amount of danger poses a threat.
This is a franchise that has built its audience by creating a group of charismatic characters, pitting them on one side or the other and tossing in endless amounts of action in-between. This time we get the action, we get the characters, but I miss the charisma.
Fast and Furious ended as Dom Toretto (Vin Diesel) was being shipped off to prison. Just before the credits rolled his sister Mia (Jordana Brewster) and Brian O’Conner (Paul Walker) had obviously hatched a plan to break him out. Guess what… it worked.
On the run and now hiding out in Rio de Janeiro — cue multiple shots of the Christ the Redeemer statue — Dom, Brian and Mia are now holed up with Vince (Matt Schulze), the meat-head you’ll recognize from the first film. Oh, and Mia is pregnant, which is pretty much the only bit of character development this installment has to offer.
The action kicks off as our three protagonists get involved in a death-defying car heist aboard a moving train that ends in the death of three federal agents, resulting in wanted posters for Dom and Brian. Adding insult to injury they’ve now pissed off Rio’s big crime boss Reyes, predictably played by Joaquim de Almeida (The Mask of Zorro). Enter federal agent Luke Hobbs (The Rock), the leader of an elite task force charged with the task of bringing Dom and Brian to justice. It’s a scenario appealing to the gods of mindless actioners. If you’re a Fast and Furious franchise fan, such as myself, you are now champing at the bit to see this film, but don’t bite down too hard, it doesn’t live up to its billing.
An opportunity was missed here. Screenwriter Chris Morgan (Wanted) went back to his days of screenwriting The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift and forgot about the energy his screenplay and returning director Justin Lin brought to Fast and Furious, which rejuvenated a franchise that didn’t look like it had anything left in the tank. On top of the match-up pitting Diesel against The Rock, and yes, there is a wall smashing rumble about 75% way through this film, Morgan injects previous Fast cast members as nothing more than cardboard standees.
I am probably one of the few people that actually enjoy 2 Fast 2 Furious, but just seeing Tyrese and Ludacris on screen doesn’t make me want to do “Jersey Shore” fist pumps. Tyrese fits this franchise well, but his motor mouth isn’t given a chance to run. Color me disappointed. Sung Kang (Tokyo Drift), Gal Gadot (Fast and Furious), Tego Calderon (Tokyo Drift) and Don Omar (Tokyo Drift and Fast and Furious) are also on hand. Gadot gets an opportunity to show a little skin. Kang gets an opportunity to look at Gadot. And Calderon and Omar serve as the worker bees that get a few one-liners in along the way. It’s all perfectly decent, but it’s not enough to play alongside the massive action sequences.
The two big action set pieces are impressive, but they also take things to such an improbable level you may have a hard time accepting it. The final one in particular not only tests your limits of believability, but also runs so long it tests your viewing stamina. Personally, the laws of physics are ignored for such an extended amount of time I just couldn’t let it slide. I admit it, it bothered me. And no, the previous films weren’t much better, such as the through-the-mountain scenes in Fast and Furious, but in this film what was once a group of criminal street racers and an undercover FBI agent have somehow become Jedi thugs, able to bend space and time causing objects to do their bidding. I’m pretty sure Qui-Gon Jinn would be interested in their midi-chlorian count after seeing what they can do in this film.
None of this is to say I didn’t enjoy myself. I didn’t expect this to be a reality-based, turbo-charged science experiment, but there are simply those moments where you have to admit to yourself you just aren’t buying what you’re being sold… at least not entirely. I will probably watch this film again on Blu-ray and the post-credit scene makes me excited to see just what the hell they are possibly thinking for Fast Six. I haven’t given up on the franchise by a long shot as I will be as dedicated to Dom and Brian as fans are to Freddy and Jason. The more installments the merrier. Yet, when the product doesn’t fully live up to your expectations as a fan, you have to recognize it and Fast Five falls short.
