Wow! Oh wow! Faster is one terrible, pointless and worthless movie. It is a wonder CBS Films would want to distribute this junk, and why Dwayne Johnson, Billy Bob Thornton and Carla Gugino would agree to star in it. Okay, Johnson did it because he didn’t want to entirely abandon those action roots he was supposed to fill when everyone thought he would be the next Arnold Schwarzenegger, but still, there is nothing this movie has to offer an audience outside of senseless violence and a redemption story that doesn’t add up.
Nothing is worse in movies than a gotcha moment where the audience looks on and is like, “Yeah, way ahead of yah Mr. Director.” Such is the case with Faster, George Tillman Jr.’s directorial follow-up to Notorious, a film I was among the minority in liking. Here Tillman tries to set up what initially feels like a ’70s style actioner in the same vein as Charles Bronson’s Death Wish. Although, instead of serving out vigilante justice this is a straight-up revenge tale that could have actually been decent had screenwriting siblings Tony and Joe Gayton decided to stick to the story instead of giving everyone and their mother a back-story.
Dwayne Johnson plays Driver (an adjective, not a name) whom has just been released from a ten year prison stint following a short sit down with Tom Berenger who may as well have been playing himself rather than a prison warden for as much sense as this film makes. Driver then runs (seriously, he actually runs) to a local automobile graveyard where his ’71 Chevelle SS, gun and hit list are waiting for him. He pops over to a local bank, walks in, shoots a guy in the head and the killing spree begins, but not before…
We’re introduced to Billy Bob Thornton’s character, referred to on screen as Cop. I get a chuckle out of this trend Tillman is setting, thinking we’re in for a gritty throwback in which character names aren’t as important as the mindless bloodshed. (It’s all in the name of entertainment right?) In fact that’s half-true as the bloodshed is mindless and I believe it’s supposed to be entertaining, but the mindless entertainment factor begins to seep out when you give the lead cop a drug problem, a kid that’s just looking for a father and an informant turned ex-wife (Moon Bloodgood) at home chastising him. On the other side of the coin, Driver is avenging the murder of his criminal brother, which means none of these people we’re talking about have many redeeming qualities. It leaves little to cheer for.
Worst of all is the character known only as Killer played by Oliver Jackson-Cohen, who’s best described as a poor man’s Jonathan Rhys Meyers and that’s not saying much. Killer is a hitman who has been hired to take out Driver once it’s learned where Driver’s killing spree is heading. This alone isn’t a problem. It actually makes sense. But when you add Killer’s girlfriend, a.k.a. soon-to-be-fiancé, a.k.a. soon-to-be-wife (Maggie Grace) to the mix things really get muddled. You see, she’s a girl that enjoys doing a little skeet shooting with a glock on the couple’s honeymoon and he’s got some serious psychological issues. The hipster acronym “TMI” comes to mind as Tillman has now put too many eggs in one basket.
Tillman and his screenwriters mix the playful with the overly serious and it takes all the fun out of the feature. There’s a line to violent revenge tales and you need to decide which side of it you are going to walk on. Do you want to go down the path of darkness, offer up your lead as an anti-hero for the audience to revel in his villainy as he takes out people just as evil if not more so than he? Or do you want to walk the light side where the blood sprays like geysers, splattering the camera with so much gore any and all level of humanity is removed allowing you to have fun with the bloodshed? Faster walks the dark path in its narrative with tangents to the light and the two don’t play well together.
To discuss the acting would be a waste of time, though I will give everyone involved kudos for having the nerve to even repeat some of these lines. Billy Bob Thornton must say, “What’ve we got?” at least five times and Gugino plays the “What is this ‘we’ shit?” card more than once. The back-and-forth is pathetic and transparent, but again, if the film had chosen a side perhaps it would’ve played much better.
Do not go see Faster. Save your money. If you’re a fan of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson you don’t need to support this garbage just as much as you don’t need to go see him in The Tooth Fairy. Let’s urge him back to the fun stuff such as The Rundown, where the gauntlet from Arnold to Dwayne was supposedly passed. Schwarzenegger lived up to his end of the deal and turned his back on movies, when will The Rock step up and become the action star we all thought he would be?
