Based on his book Cowboys for Christ, writer-director Hardys story begins in Dallas. Beth Boothby (Brittania Nicol) is a Taylor Swift-like pop/country music star. Only she is even more wholesome. Along with her boyfriend Steve (Henry Garrett), Beth is going to travel to that den of hedonism we know as Scotland. The devout couple (they are saving themselves for marriage) will spend two years spreading the word of Jesus.
Of course, viewers know that Beth and Steve are doomed as soon as they set foot in Scotland. Their eager-to-please hosts are Sir Lachlan (Graham McTavish) and his wife Delia (Jacqueline Leonard). They will be supporting Beth and Steve in their mission, introducing them to the locals and pointing them in the right direction as the Christians seek out sinners and non-believers.
Sir Lachlan and Delis also inform Beth and Steve about an annual local celebration that is kind of a big deal. Called May Day, it is designed to celebrate the rebirth of nature. Beth will serve as the Queen while Steve functions as the Laddie. Those are the most important roles in the celebration, for reasons the youngsters wont like.
The main problem with The Wicker Tree is the performances by the two leads. This will sound cruel, but there really is no overstating how mind-numbingly awful Nicol and Garrett are. They seem to have accidentally wandered in from a high school play. Completely devoid of charisma, totally amateurish in line delivery, and out-of-their depth alongside more experienced performers, the two sink any chance the movie had of being watchable. Edward Woodward delivers that centurys finest performance by comparison. At least he is believable.
In all fairness the writing doesnt do Nicol and Garrett any favors. They embody Texas stereotypes and are stuck playing hick rubes who might as well say aw shucks at the end of every sentence.
Where the original has an eeriness and unsettling weirdness, The Wicker Tree is hokey. There is crow vision (exactly what it sounds like), a slow-motion sex scene, and an abundance of scenes that feel like they were conceived and directed by a first-time filmmaker. One example comes near the end. A group of people intend to kill someone. They openly share this information. Rather than show any fear, the future victim smiles broadly and sings a happy song with the group. It makes no sense whatsoever and is a metaphor for the entire movie.
There are a few unintentional laughs, a Christopher Lee cameo, and copious amounts of nudity, but The Wicker Tree is embarrassingly bad in almost every way. Watch the original The Wicker Man instead and pretend that a sequel was never made.
