Norbit is putrid. And honestly I probably can’t explain it any better
than (warning: profanity) this handy photo. But I will, if only out of a sense of obligation to the general public, to save them from the giant and epic crapfest that is Norbit.
First off, if you freakin’ love fat jokes you need to get to the theater right now. Hustle up. Don’t delay a second because when Ed Murphy plays his wifey alter ego it is absolute hilarity as she is a fatty! Ha ha ha! What kind of funny stuff does she get up to? Well, she displaces all the water in a pool! Why? Cuz she’s fat dude! What else? Well, she has gas. Can you even believe it? Can you stand it? Oh man, she also has trouble getting into small places and destroys beds
when she jumps on them!! Do you get it? It’s because she’s LARGE you Goddamn maniacs!
Whew, I’m wiping tears away because all the fat jokes are so brilliant and funny. My stomach really hurts!
Oooh, I almost forgot, she has a catch phrase too. Look around you now and make sure nothing will get broken when you flail around from spasms of laughter. Ready? Her phrase is “How you doing?” It’s like the Joey from Friends thing, but she does it really quick and with a tremendously funny face too. Awesome mind-blowing stuff. If you ever use this phrase after seeing this movie I will say a little Novena for your sterility.
What else? Well, we’ve got some potty humor. Boo to the YEAH! As for plot, well fella, you won’t see this coming. Ed Murphy, as Norbit, has a girl he hangs out with and adores at the orphanage he lives in growing up. The girl leaves (she’s adopted) and he’s left all alone. Until his fatty wife picks him up (as in all actuality she lifts him off the ground because she is big). Guess what happens next? I won’t ruin it for you just in case you’ve never ever seen a movie (not even on TV or a porn) and have stumbled upon this site by blind chance after hitting the “I’m feeling lucky” button on Google.
Cuba Gooding Jr. is in the house too. Honestly, if I were I Cuba’s father I would consider changing my name. Gooding’s career is in SHAMBLES. I mean this guy is done like a toad that’s been hit by a meteor. You could comb through the wreckage and not find any semblance of hope. Let’s drop him off at the retirement home and then we’ll go get some lunch.
I’m going to give out my one compliment for this movie right here, right now. Eddie Griffin is watchable while he’s on screen. It’s only five minutes but you will probably smirk and may even feel the beginnings of a chuckle before Norbit or the fat ass wife smacks you back into a scowling stupor. If you’re forced to see this film (and I’d assume you’re a hostage) enjoy and savor those Eddie Griffin
moments before they execute you.
So then, this is the difference between Ed Murphy and Eddie Murphy. Eddie makes Dreamgirls and has my admiration. Ed makes horrible pieces of feces that he puts on fat suits for. Ed I hate and will not support in any manner. I hope they (critics, you, me, and everyone we know) defile that alter ego in a most gruesome manner after this.
Other than that I liked it.
