Let’s Look Back at the First Six Months of 2008

By Brad Brevet

A lot has happened in the past six months and while there may not have been very many bad ones there was much more to remember as well as a lot to look forward to.

First off, the writers’ strike was finally settled, but as we move into the second half of 2008 the actors are now threatening to shut down Hollywood with a strike of their own.

We learned of a new kind of woman out in the wild and she is known as a “Twilight Mom”, a term that proved it could wreck havoc on your server should you decide to bash any part of Stephenie Meyer’s “Twilight” novels or the film based on said material. I wrote an article called “I Wanna Be a ‘Twilight’ Mom!!!” and was happily accepted into the fold.

We learned Guillermo del Toro will direct The Hobbit films, Oliver Stone will bring us a George W. Bush biopic and that it takes a TV adaptation to make Anne Hathaway appear to be a real woman.

Once won an Oscar, NBC released the god-awful “Knight Rider” and “Grand Theft Auto IV” sold 12 gabillion units.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows will be split into two films (because Warner Bros. wants more of your money) and while it isn’t There Will Be Farts, Lionsgate will release Disaster Movie, a title in which the unintended pun is all-to-fitting.

We found out Sarah Silverman is fucking Matt Damon and then to our surprise that Jimmy Kimmel is fucking Ben Affleck.

Cloverfield was released and proved that it is still mildly possible to release a film and actually keep things relatively secret. We saw Iron Man become the first film to $300 million, followed by Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which also topped the triple-century mark. And we also saw that women will go see a movie in droves as long as it contains plenty of middle-aged women pining after rich men and it is filled with fabulous shoes. I’m talking about Sex and the City of course considering Tina Fey must be too “ugh” to match the $141 million SATC has made compared to Baby Mama‘s $59 milly.

Paramount was the first studio to hit $1 billion this year, a number Sony must cry about considering they have released nothing but shit for the most part. I wonder how much Universal is concerned now that their better received Hulk will not surpass the much loathed 2003 Ang Lee version, something I speculated about back in April. Box-Office Mojo has the big green guy breakdown right here.

Then we have all that we lost in the first six months of 2008, from celebrities to studios it has been a tragic first half:

However, things aren’t all sad and gloomy. Nah, there are six more months to look forward to. Movie wise we have…

And those are just the movies I am looking forward to. If you want to browse the complete schedule you can start here.

Overall, it’s been an up-and-down year so far with far more downs than ups, but based on the films listed above I think we have a lot to look forward to and you can believe i will be here every step of the way to bring it all. Now, I think I will go watch The Dark Knight six minute prologue again, which is on the Blu-ray copy of Batman Begins I just received. I will tell you this, watching it at home, on Blu-ray, on a plasma television and with the volume cranked doesn’t even compare to what the effect this film has when you see it in IMAX.

Brad Brevet

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