Welcome back, House of the Dragon fans, to our House of the Dragon Season 2 Episode 5 recap. Apologies for the lack of a recap last week. Family duty beckoned, and I was forced to answer the call. Too bad, because the last 15 minutes provided some rather exciting TV. The rest was more of the same: characters strategizing around tables while Rhaenyra and Alicent, the instigators of this conflict, observe with stunned exasperation.
Five episodes in, and the only one actually playing the Game of Thrones is Aemond, who craftily sets a trap for his brother, King Aegon, but then lets the little twirp live for some reason or other. King Joffrey would never.
Was Aemond afraid Criston Cole would tell on him? Why go through all the trouble of setting and executing an elaborate trap only to relent at the last possible second? Victory was in your grasp, Aemond!
Pour one out for the Queen The Never Was. She went out in style. However, I question the sanity of anyone who thinks it wise to send a 70-year-old grandma to fight a pivotal battle. Also, why didn’t she, you know, leave when the battle turned? Rhaenys knew she was no match for Vhagar but went all Thelma and Louise and quite literally leaped to her death. As my old pappy used to say, he who fights and runs away can run away another day.
As I’ve stated before, this season of House of the Dragon feels more in line with the last two or three seasons of Game of Thrones, in which intricate storytelling gave way to silly (albeit visually impressive) spectacle. The inaugural season of HOD expertly presented intriguing (and believable) characters who made careless mistakes that ultimately paved the way to war. For some reason, Season 2 keeps stepping back from the darkness, content to present a straightforward fantasy show. Dragons!
God, I miss Littlefinger.
Episode 5 continues this season’s odd trend of softening Rhaenyra and Alicent, transforming them from compelling warriors battling one another for control of the Iron Throne to stoic, bland supervisors dealing with — what else? — misogyny in the workforce.
Anyway, let’s get to it.
What happened in the House of the Dragon Season 2 Episode 5?
Alicent
The episode opens with House Green, specifically Criston Cole, dragging the head of Rhaeny’s dragon through King’s Landing. The extras playing the common folk overact to ensure we understand their adverse reaction to this display. Criston’s like, “Christ, what do I have to do to get some respect around here?”
Criston’s caravan also pulls a mysterious box containing the remains of King Aegon. Actually, scratch that; the kid is alive, though he looks a little Anakin-ish these days.
We get a lengthy sequence in which the Maesters pry melted armor from the boy’s charred skin as Alicent watches in horror. That’s how you fill 12 minutes of screen time, folks.
Later, Alicent meets with the High Council and voices a major concern. “We need a leader until Aegon gets better,” she says, more or less. “I nominate myself.”
The men take turns exchanging awkward looks. They want Aemond. Even the usually dependable Larys Strong sides with the council on this one. “What about you, Ser Criston?”
Criston spends a great deal of time deciding what’s more important: the Realm or his sex life. “Er, Aemond is next in line,” he says reluctantly.
Aemond sneers at the head of the table and begins relaying orders: close the gates, no one is allowed in or out of King’s Landing, and cut down the got darned ratcatchers already.
Later, when pressed by Alicent about his decision, Criston explains the horrors he saw during last week’s battle — men burning alive, fire everywhere. “We have given the war to the dragons,” he explains. “A dragonrider should lead us.”
“What we have to do now is terrible,” he continues, speaking no lies. “Will you preside over it?”
What is Alicent’s purpose in this show other than to wander around the castle like a bewildered mom? Where’s the fiery, petty brat from Season 1? You know, the person who tried to stab Rhaenyra and ultimately started this dance of dragons? She hasn’t accomplished anything this season and doesn’t appear to be traveling on any character arc. Instead, she’s being presented as some sort of victim.
Didn’t she essentially order the death of Harwin Strong? Wasn’t she working with Larys to eavesdrop on her enemies? Are we supposed to feel bad for her because other evil people aren’t listening to her advice? Does she own any other outfits?
Daemon
Five episodes into Season 5, and Daemon has accomplished absolutely nothing. A few weeks back, he traveled to Harrenhal, vowing to rebuild the structure, raise an army, and take King’s Landing for himself. This week, he’s, uh, still rebuilding Harrenhal, still looking for an army, and still dealing with peculiar dreams.
He’s slowly losing his mind. I get it. The man had a vivid sex dream with his dead mom. That would mess anyone up.
Daemon will likely get a big moment this season, but sitting on the sidelines for so long in what has proven to be a fairly dull storyline is not suiting the character.
Rhaenyra
Rhaenyra spends the majority of the episode doing what she does best: thwarting her all-male council. We’ve seen this scene several times before throughout the season. Her male compatriots scold her for not taking action, she scolds them back, and everyone breaks for lunch, having accomplished nothing. You see, they don’t trust her wartime judgment because she’s a woman.
“The gentler sex has not been privy to the strategies of battle or their execution,” Ser Alfred says, in case you didn’t pick up on the negative vibes.
Rhaenyra is the first queen to lay claim to the throne. She had to know breaking through the glass ceiling would open a few wounds. No one knows what to expect. Instead of playing up this angle and daubing Rhaenyra with some tangible doubt about her leadership abilities, the writers use the opportunity to blast Ser Alfred. He hasn’t fought in a war, either. So, what the hell does he know? Sit the f— down, a–hole.
Moments later, she complains that her queen status prevents her from taking part in any action. She wants to fly to King’s Landing and attain the throne herself. The council says no because she’s too important to the cause.
“What would you have me do,” she snaps, somehow forgetting her reckless journey to King’s Landing a few days earlier.
Rhaenyra’s council brings nothing to the table. Instead, Rhaenyra relies on the White Worm of all people for advice, and a plan is quickly set in motion to turn the ordinary folk of King’s Landing against their leaders via nefarious means.
Later, Rhaenyra decides she needs Daemon’s help and sends Ser Alfred to Harrenhal on a peacemaking tour. “Is there a message you want me to deliver,” he asks. I half expect Rhaenyra to kiss Ser Alfred, but alas, she tells him to tell Daemon that she would like to finish their last conversation. You know, the one where she called him pathetic. I’m sure that will go over well.
Ultimately, she wants to know who Daemon fights for — himself or her?
Jace, meanwhile, gets tired of wandering around Dragonstone and decides to “treat with the Freys.” He heads to The Twins and enjoys a nice, um, lunch in the center of a bridge. He makes an acceptable trade: bended knees for Harrenhal.
Nothing bad ever happens when dealing with the Freys, amirite?
Our young Targaryen flies back to his mum with glad tidings but finds her in a right shit mood. Again, she laments her inability to do anything, echoing Aegon’s impetuousness last week. “I have two dragons but no dragonriders,” she moans.
Jace comes up with a simple solution: put other people on the dragons. The Targaryen lineage is messy. Surely, there are plenty of others living in Westeros under different names. They just have to find them.
The camera pans back, revealing a mountain of scrolls and books. I pity the poor bastards who have to do that work.
And that’s it, that’s the end of the episode.
Other Notes
- We briefly return to the Eyrie when Rhaena arrives to deal with Lady Arryn. Once again, we are told this fortress is impenetrable, except by air. Will the apparent foreshadowing pay off this time?
- More time is spent with Hugh Hammer, whose daughter is sick. This war is impacting the common folk. Hammer’s wife says they must leave the city before running out of food. Naturally, they arrive at the gates right as Aemond orders them shut. Methinks the man will fly a dragon against House Green. All together, it’s Hammer Time.
- Corlys continues to do nothing. Hopefully, that goddamned ship is finally built.
- What happened to Larys? The dude was on his way to becoming a legend but has since morphed into a background extra.
House of the Dragon Season 2 Episode 5 thoughts
I can’t get into this season. Nothing is happening. Each episode regurgitates the same three or four scenes and only incrementally advances the story. The main characters are dull. Everyone keeps talking about a war we never see, and every conversation typically revolves around people asking other people who they plan to fight for.
Again, where’s the cunning deception that made Game of Thrones so much fun? Where are the colorful characters, the crafty, often playful banter? After five hours, what did we learn precisely?
I hate saying this because I loved Season 1 and adore the look and feel of Season 2. The production values are off the charts, and the performances are strong. Yet, something is missing. I’m not captivated by any of it. Worse, I’m bored. The Hammer family storyline intrigues me, but only because I have no idea where it’s going—it’s also the most relatable.
Game of Thrones juggled three or four storylines simultaneously. Some required patience, while others offered slighter dividends throughout. None were ever dull, particularly in those first four or five seasons. HOD bounces from Rhaenyra wandering around Dragonstone looking distraught, Alicent wandering around King’s Landing looking distraught, and Daemon wandering around dreams at Harrenhal looking distraught. None of these characters are evolving into better or worse versions of themselves.
Ultimately, we haven’t gained enough from the first five episodes to warrant spending this much time in front of the boob tube. HOD is stretching a relatively thin premise into an eight-hour chore when four, maybe five, would have been more acceptable.
Alas, that’s TV.
Keep in mind that we only have three episodes left. I assume we’re building toward something grand. Maybe this long trek will prove worthwhile. I think Daemon will eventually create his army, see the light, and come to Rhaenyra’s aid. Jace will probably die. Corlys will do something. Someone important (Alicent?) will die, sending Westeros into a flurry and setting up Season 3, where all the dragons will eventually die.
I think Rhaenyra’s indecisiveness bites her in the ass at some point. Then again, this all depends on whether the writers are presenting her caution as a grave error or a worthy character trait. Time will tell.
Ok, enough complaining from me, at least until next week!
